Chapter 4 – To Come Back To Life in Order to Create Life

Here I would like you to listen with the greatest of concentration.

Certainly, so far you understand that the womb should be a receptacle, a void. It must be passive and be ready to receive the baby. Women in our society today are conscious of self-control. We have experienced a lot of physical abuse in our lives. We have experienced it within our families, verbally or physically. We have witnessed media abuses and sometimes, for those who believe in reincarnation, we can remember it from our previous lives.

Many women can see the pain of previous generations of women in their families, and today we heal not only our wounds, but also those of the women in our family before us. Today, women have more influential positions and have the ability to change and choose. Today, if someone wants to hurt us we can draw a line and say – “It ends here!! No man will rule over a woman and make her his property or own her by being her patron”. We can do it and say it more easily than in the past.

It’s alright, but when we want to get pregnant we must go back to our passive place, to be loose, where we are without limits. When we want to get pregnant, we should turn off our ego, as the ego controls, wants to know, is unequivocal, demanding, commanding. A space without ego is ready to contain internal knowledge through listening to the wisdom that is derived from the courage and wisdom of self-confidence rather than fear. Because, when we were hurt as a woman, it left us with a lot of fear, and fear shrinks our spirits and closes us off.

According to the language of Kabbalah, fear can create a shell. The shell tries to protect us from getting hurt. It protects us from what frightens us. In nature, the shell protects the fruit. For humans, the shell tries to protect the inner soft part, the most important part of a person, the light – the soul, but by doing that, it does not allow light to express and shine.

If the shell is closed and it wants to defend too much and for too long a time, it can choke, and almost kill a person because it will not letting him express his will freely all of the time. The shell wants to protect and keep the person in a place of survival, a place of self- defense. It causes him to feel as though he has to fight for his life, like he is being hunted by his surroundings.

We should know when to take down the shell and let to our soul shine. The soul is connected to God and it should be free. So, we need to break our shell and discover the light (like tearing an orange peel in order to eat what is good – the soft fruit) of our unique truth, the soul.


We must trust and put faith in the life processes and come back to life in order to create a life.

Chinese culture has a beautiful saying: “all fear knocks on the door, faith opens the door, and there’s nobody there”. When we connect to our inner power, our fears and demons disappear and instead we discover new opportunities.

The largest and most significant difference is that today we women are not victims nor are we sex slaves. We are leaders. We get to choose the man whom we want to host in our womb. We choose when we will host him, and we can give him devotion of our own free will. We must recognize that we have selected the man that we want to have a child with (or the sperm from a sperm donor).

He is the chosen man, he is the one, and we are ready to offer our womb to create something with him. In the Hebrew language, the word “womb” (rehem), and the word, ”tomorrow” (mahar) are written using the same letters in a different order. Since we women create life in our bodies, this means that without a womb there is no tomorrow.

Think about it…

powerful womanIt is our choice whether to treat pregnancy as an opportunity to process real deep healing, or as a place to reconstruct the history of our painful female stories at any moment. This can be done with awareness and inner work, through which we can release more life, because it is the conditions from the stories of our lives which stop us from expressing ourselves in this world.

Therefore, you are the one who gets to decide, and if you’re not sure, take more time to listen to the heartbeat of your decision in order to be sure. Once you’ve decided, let yourself, while making love or returning an embryo to the uterus (in IVF), to create, in your mind, a place which contains no resistance to receiving, because you are the one who chooses. This comes not from a place of control, but from a place of listening. In your mind, tell yourself that the egg in your ovary will open herself to your partner’s sperm and allow him (the sperm) to create proper fertilization in the Fallopian tube and uterus.

Remember, when God created the world, according to the Jewish Kabbala, he gave up and “narrowed” his light. The reduction was not accomplished by squeezing in or defense, but by walking backwards with full confidence. This was a conscious choice to create a healthy new world. It was not a movement taken from a place of weakness, but of power moving forward (look at picture chapter 1).

Just as we choose who will be our partner for sexual relations, (all acts of penetrative force are called rape), in conception, we choose which man we will host in our womb. And the fact that we can choose is very significant and powerful!! Get used to this intent, until you’re in a month where your heart and the heart of your partner are open and willing to give and receive without fear or doubt, until you are both open and trusting.


Let go

And everything will be fine. One of the things which is annoying, but true, is that people often tell a woman who is trying to get pregnant, “Relax, let go and everything will work out”. The whole process of getting pregnant involves a lot of pressure and a desire to succeed. That puts a lot of pressure on the woman and makes it hard to let go of the will to get pregnant. If you would have let go of the will to get pregnant, you would have already been pregnant, and if you are not pregnant yet, you have a problem with letting go. It’s a catch-21 situation. So what should you do?

Let go of the idea that you have to let go.

I am aware that we do not just let go and give up, or release. Even more, it is not something we can force ourselves to do. Relaxation is the opposite of coercion; we can’t force it on ourselves. We can practice it, for example through meditation or breathing, and more than that, relaxation comes naturally by following the process which we are going through. By going step by step, we start to have confidence. We start to trust our way and are able to let go and be ready to feel liberated in what life offers us.

There is another similar way to look at it: When we realize we should relent and let go, as soon as we are ready, it happens. We just let go. If it has not happened, it means that there is some will, or thought, or fear that we are still holding onto, and only when we are ready, while we feel confidence, and then we can let go. For example, as long as we do not release the guilt that we have, or pangs of conscience, or thoughts of our ex, we squeeze and hold onto it. We do not release it and do not let go.

In such circumstances, it’s better to be soft and true to yourself. Say: “When it is released it will be released ” and it really will be released as soon as we have no more need for the emotions or thoughts that stopped us when we were interrupted in the natural flow of the process.

I had a patient who came to me for treatment to become pregnant. She was with me for almost a year, and it did not solve her fear of the thought that maybe in the future she and her husband would divorce. She could not stop worrying about what would become of her and the child, and as a result, she could not conceive. Both of us waited patiently for that moment to come – and it did come. She let go of her fears and she became pregnant.